Dentistry
Merit Badge

Open wide! You’ll laugh out loud with these 20 pain-free (and funny!) dentist jokes submitted by Scout Life readers. Do you know a funny dentist joke? Click here to send your joke to us. Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist? Scott: Beats me. Josh: To get his teeth crowned! Submitted by Matthew F., Havre de Grace, Md. Luke: What is a dentist’s favorite movie? Joey: Beats me. Luke: “Plaque to the Future”! Submitted by Luke H., Cornwall-on-Hudson, N.Y. Luke: What did the judge say to the dentist? Joe: I don’t know. What? Luke: “Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?” Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y. Bob: What do you call a dentist’s advice? Bobby: Not sure. Bob: His fl ossophy. Submitted by Joshua H., Plainview, Texas Jack: What does a marching band member use to brush his teeth? Chase: I have no idea. Jack: A tuba toothpaste! Submitted by Jack R., Edina, Minn. A book never written: “Dental Examination” by Hope N. Wide. Submitted by John T., Lusby, Md. Alex: What’s a dentist’s favorite time of day? Randy: Tell me. Alex: Tooth-hurty! Submitted by Alexander D., Minster, Ohio Phil: How are false teeth like stars? Hank: Tell me. Phil: Both only come out at night! Submitted by Phil N., Bedford, N.H. Tom Swiftie: “Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled. Submitted by LJ R., Coppell, Tex. Wes: Knock, knock. James: Who’s there? Wes: Dishes. James: Dishes, who? Wes: Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth! Submitted by Weston L., Hartsville, S.C. A book never written: “Life as a Dentist” by Flo Ride. Submitted by Andrew M., Fort Smith, Ark. A book never written: “Pain Management” by Nova Cane. Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis. Jacob: What will the dentist give you for $1? Will: I haven’t a clue. Jacob: Buck teeth! Submitted by Jacob P., Fenton, Mo. Dentist: What kind of filling do you want in your tooth? Boy: Chocolate! Submitted by Gabriel A. C., Ypsilanti, Mich. Bob: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? Fred: I don’t know. How? Bob: His drill slipped. Submitted by Trenton S., Salt Lake City, Utah Dentist: Hmm, it would appear that you have nice, even teeth. Hockey Player: Thanks, doc. Dentist: Unfortunately, it’s because teeth Nos. 1, 3 and 5 are missing. Submitted by Lucas J., Trion, Ga. Aneesh: What does a dentist call an astronaut’s cavity? Aditya: I don’t know. Aneesh: “A black hole.” Submitted by Aneesh S., Flushing, N.Y. Jay: What did the dentist say to the judge in court? Clay: What? Jay: “You can’t handle the tooth!” Submitted by James L., Pittsford, N.Y. Pee Wee: How do you fix a broken tooth? Westy: How? Pee Wee: With tooth paste! Submitted by Katie M., Mount Carmel, Ill. Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist? Dentist: I was in the Army. Patient: What did you do in the Army? Dentist: I was a drill sergeant. Submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa. A book never written: “I Have a Toothache” by Phil McCavity. Submitted by Ben M., Chariton, Iowa Brandon: Why did the doughnut go to the dentist? Kaleb: Tell me. Brandon: He needed a filling! Submitted by Brandon R., Morgantown, N.C.

When the Dentistry merit badge debuted in 1975, The New York Times covered the news with this clever headline: “A New Drill For Scouts: A Dentist’s.” “Time was when the tools of Scouting were a compass and an ax,” the Times article read. “In the new Boy Scouts, it could help to have a little dental floss.” Boys’ Life (now Scout Life) magazine opened its April 1975 coverage of the badge with this intro (exclamation point and all): “What’s the most widespread of all the world’s diseases? Tooth decay!” Across the country, Scouts were all smiles about the new Dentistry merit badge, created in partnership with the American Dental Association to offer an open-wide peek into the world of incisors, canines and molars. The badge covers the expected range of dental hygiene tips, such as proper teeth brushing, the role of fluoride and what snacks should be avoided to maintain the best oral health. Beyond dental cleanliness (part of the Scout Law, after all), Scouts learn about keeping their teeth safe — ensuring those pearly whites don’t become damaged in rough sports, falls and “playground dangers like hard swing-seats and thrown baseball bats,” Boys’ Life writes. Yikes! But when the worst happens, Scouts who earn the Dentistry merit badge know what to do. “If a tooth is knocked out, the dentist might be able to replace it in the victim’s jaw, if correct action is taken promptly,” Boys’ Life writes. “Don’t clean the tooth; place it in water or wrap it in a clean, wet cloth. Take the tooth and its owner to a dentist at once.” Like all merit badges, this one gives Scouts something to sink their teeth into through hands-on activities that put Scouts in the center of the action. They might prepare a dental stone cast, make a model tooth out of papier-mâché or clip out toothpaste ads to analyze their claims for accuracy.